"It's not that we've never seen this before, most of us have never heard of it before." Those words, from my doctor, will forever ring in my head. It was exactly one year ago today when my husband and I went for what was supposed to be a routine weekly checkup at my Baltimore-area OBGYN. I was 32 weeks pregnant with my first baby. Little did I know that day would change everything... certainly the rest of my pregnancy and perhaps the rest of my life.
As I sit here trying to figure out how to describe what I was feeling that day I am getting chocked up. Even knowing my precious baby girl is perfectly happy and healthy it's still very emotional. So, as I tear up over what could have been, I'd like to finally share the story that I've considered blogging about for a year, but never known exactly how to put it into words.
As I mentioned, I was 32 weeks pregnant. It was July and our baby was due September 2. My husband, Bob and I waited in the exam room at my OBGYN just as we did every other check up. I distinctly remember saying to Bob about how we waited for so long in the waiting room and then every appointment was the same: the doctor came in, he or she (they rotate through doctors in this practice) would listen to the baby's heart beat, take my blood pressure, and say they'd see us the following week. Five minutes later we'd be were on our way: Bob back to work, me back home to sleep since, at the time I was working the overnight shift. But that's not how it went last July 15th.
Last July 15 Dr. Guidice (the sole male doctor in the practice and the one I hoped upon hope would not be on call when I went into labor) came into the exam room. I'll never forget: I was sitting on the table my husband was across the room in a chair. Dr. Giudace put my patient folder down next to him and leaned against the counter. He looked at both of us and said "we have some things we need to talk about."
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I knew the size of that varix better than any tech, nurse, or doctor. I knew if it grew by a fraction of a millimeter. I knew what to look for on the ultrasound monitor and I knew which techs were the best and which I needed to steer clear of. I had to protect my daughter. But for as much as I knew about this varix-thing, there were 10 times as many things I (and the doctors) didn't know. There had to be a reason she got this, but what was it? Was I taking the wrong kind of medication when I got pregnant, did I have a drink and not realize, did I sleep on my stomach and cause too much pressure...there had to be a reason. Then I'd wonder if there were going to be permanent side effects after she was born? "No," I was told, once the umbilical cord is cut it's useless, the vein dries up and is no longer needed. But how could they know for sure if they hadn't even heard of the condition. The most frustrating part was that all the doctors just kept saying they couldn't explain it...but they kept discussing my case in their weekly "problem child" meeting. Great! I was told it was likely more common than doctor's realized and most often went undiagnosed because most expectant women don't have so many ultrasounds. But the fact that there were so few answers was frustrating. And it made for a long three or four weeks.
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Note: My doctors did special testing on the placenta and found nothing out of the ordinary. They also did an ultrasound of Olivia's abdomen and found it to be perfectly normal. So while I still have very few answers, I will forever to be grateful to all the Baltimore-area doctors and staff who spent so much time on my case. By the way, I, the woman who was in no way ever having a male OB, was so grateful for the time and dedication Dr. Michael Guidice spent on my case I made him my routine OBGYN.
1 comment:
wow, that is quite a story! I am so glad your daughter is healthy and doing well! She is so adorable. It is amazing how we can re-live every moment of our pregnancies like they were yesterday!
I think that it is so crazy how much our little girls have in common! I can't believe they are just 6 months apart. Happy 11 months Olivia!
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