Hawaii trip and our most precious souvenir!

I've mentioned our fifth anniversary trip to Hawaii a few times - but did I mention we died and went to heaven for two weeks in September 2010?! It felt like we saw every inch of Maui and Kaua'i by foot, helicopter, horseback, and car!   But in between the horseback riding and the relaxing, I actually blogged! My blog 'The Silent Traveler' was a great way to remember every day and detail of our trip.  (I later used the blog posts and pictures to create a snapbook photo album.) It also allowed our family and friends to travel along with us - virtually of course. I have even used it as a guide book for friends who've followed in our footsteps to the beautiful Hawaiian islands.

Pregnant, but didn't know it yet

So I thought I'd share it on the this blog, too - just in case you're thinking of taking an anniversary trip - or maybe to give you a reason to take one.

PS Our most precious souvenir was delivered nine months after our return.

Is that two little pink lines I see???

Gotcha didn't I? No, Olivia isn't going to have a little brother or sister anytime soon...but a conversation with a friend of me got me thinking. I was lucky when my husband and I went to "work"...we got pregnant right away. Four pregnancy tests later I realized something: to hell with the two little pink lines; God bless the digital "pregnant." I had somehow forgotten about that "aha" moment until today when I talked to one of my best girlfriends.

She lives 3,000 miles away and between her busy job, my busy life and the three time zones in between, it seems like every time we talk more time has passed since the time between the last conversation. So yesterday I sent her a quick email just to say I was thinking of her. At the very end I nudged: did she have any news for me yet??? I found a cryptic email in my inbox this morning saying that perhaps after yesterday, she may. That peaked my interest and I knew instantly what she had to tell me.

Once I finally got to talk to her...she made me wait WAYYYY too long..she confirmed the news. She told me she'd taken 5 pregnancy tests b/c those damn pink lines were playing tricks on her eyes. Were there a pair or was she just seeing something? Did she hold the stick in her pee stream for 7 seconds instead of 5...could that produce two lines? But five tests later the answer was clear! YAY!
In the middle of our conversation, as I watched my own 14 month old play "kitchen" next to me, I realized something. I was more excited for my girlfriend than I was when I first saw my own two pink lines. Of course I was over the moon when all those prego tests (including the last which I took in the bathroom stall of my former employer at midnight...) confirmed I had a bun in the oven. (Quick side story...thank God my girlfriend lives on the west coast, she was the only person I could call at that hour of the night to share my news. I hate to admit it, but I told her before anyone besides my partner in crime. She later admitted her husband told her she NEEDED to call me ASAP to share their two-line news! But I digress...)

I started thinking about my excitement for her later in the day and I realized why. I know now, what I wish I had known then and what I know she doesn't yet realize. The love she will feel for her child is so great and so wonderful it will change her life forever. She still doesn't realize, as I didn't, that you could love a person so much and so completely. I can't wait for her to hold that little baby and just feel what those two little pink lines really mean! Don't you just love that overpowering feeling of love you get when your toddler is giggling out of control or calling "dada" on a play cell phone or just sitting there concentrating with pure innocence in her eyes. Ah...new mamahood is wonderful and I can't wait until my friend experiences it!

Pregnancy Complications, Questions, & Still No Answers...One Year Later

"It's not that we've never seen this before, most of us have never heard of it before." Those words, from my doctor, will forever ring in my head. It was exactly one year ago today when my husband and I went for what was supposed to be a routine weekly checkup at my Baltimore-area OBGYN. I was 32 weeks pregnant with my first baby. Little did I know that day would change everything... certainly the rest of my pregnancy and perhaps the rest of my life.


As I sit here trying to figure out how to describe what I was feeling that day I am getting chocked up. Even knowing my precious baby girl is perfectly happy and healthy it's still very emotional. So, as I tear up over what could have been, I'd like to finally share the story that I've considered blogging about for a year, but never known exactly how to put it into words.

As I mentioned, I was 32 weeks pregnant. It was July and our baby was due September 2. My husband, Bob and I waited in the exam room at my OBGYN just as we did every other check up. I distinctly remember saying to Bob about how we waited for so long in the waiting room and then every appointment was the same: the doctor came in, he or she (they rotate through doctors in this practice) would listen to the baby's heart beat, take my blood pressure, and say they'd see us the following week. Five minutes later we'd be were on our way: Bob back to work, me back home to sleep since, at the time I was working the overnight shift. But that's not how it went last July 15th.

Last July 15 Dr. Guidice (the sole male doctor in the practice and the one I hoped upon hope would not be on call when I went into labor) came into the exam room. I'll never forget: I was sitting on the table my husband was across the room in a chair. Dr. Giudace put my patient folder down next to him and leaned against the counter. He looked at both of us and said "we have some things we need to talk about."

I had recently had my third ultrasound (I was getting more than normal because I have chronic high blood pressure.) He told us the results of the ultrasound came back with what he described as a very rare find. From there everything is pretty much a blur. All I can remember is "rare." Somewhere along the way I also picked up "umbilical cord" "clot" and "induced at 36 weeks, if everything went well" (it might have to be earlier). The condition, which he called an "umbilical vein varix" was so rare, he said, that he reiterated none of the six doctors in the practice had ever even heard of the condition and they were working closely with the Perinatal Center at St. Joseph's Hospital to learn more about it. He then warned me not to Google it. Google is my homepage. Dr. Guidice told me there was little known about the condition and what I would read on the Internet would basically scare me into labor. I never did Google it, but from what I came to understand is that my daughter had a kink in the one and only vein in her umbilical cord which posed a risk for a clot. A blood clot in the vein could be fatal to her. The kink was in the part of the cord after it entered her abdomen. This, I was told, was the good news. Since the kink was in her abdomen, and not in the large section of cord that ran from the placenta to her, there was less of a chance of it being disturbed by her movements in my womb. What it also meant was the doctors needed to keep a very close eye on the varix. I would have to have two ultrasounds a week, for the remainder of my pregnancy, to measure its size and make sure it was not limiting the amount of blood flow to my precious baby girl. I was told I would also have an amnio at 36 weeks to test my daughter's lung development. If it was positive, I'd be induced on 8/8/08. (As the doctor looked at the calendar he realized that wouldn't work, too many women had scheduled to have c-sections that day. This is another blog post in and of itself..but seriously????)

I knew the size of that varix better than any tech, nurse, or doctor. I knew if it grew by a fraction of a millimeter. I knew what to look for on the ultrasound monitor and I knew which techs were the best and which I needed to steer clear of. I had to protect my daughter. But for as much as I knew about this varix-thing, there were 10 times as many things I (and the doctors) didn't know. There had to be a reason she got this, but what was it? Was I taking the wrong kind of medication when I got pregnant, did I have a drink and not realize, did I sleep on my stomach and cause too much pressure...there had to be a reason. Then I'd wonder if there were going to be permanent side effects after she was born? "No," I was told, once the umbilical cord is cut it's useless, the vein dries up and is no longer needed. But how could they know for sure if they hadn't even heard of the condition. The most frustrating part was that all the doctors just kept saying they couldn't explain it...but they kept discussing my case in their weekly "problem child" meeting. Great! I was told it was likely more common than doctor's realized and most often went undiagnosed because most expectant women don't have so many ultrasounds. But the fact that there were so few answers was frustrating. And it made for a long three or four weeks.

Finally, I was able to get an amnio. They would test to make sure my daughter's lungs were ready and I'd be induced the next day. The last month of my pregnancy, the longest, the most stressful (and the non-stop itching on my feet) was about to come to an end. But my daughter had other plans. The amnio came back negative. I was devastated. Not only would she not be born the next day, I'd have to wait at least another week. Two more stress-tests, two more ultrasounds, another amnio and another week of itchy pregnancy feet. A week later, the amnio had a different result. Olivia's lungs were mature and ready to take on the world. The next day I was to report to the hospital at 6am. I became a mom, the happiest, most proud new mama in the world at 8:50pm Friday, August 15, 2008.


Note: My doctors did special testing on the placenta and found nothing out of the ordinary. They also did an ultrasound of Olivia's abdomen and found it to be perfectly normal. So while I still have very few answers, I will forever to be grateful to all the Baltimore-area doctors and staff who spent so much time on my case. By the way, I, the woman who was in no way ever having a male OB, was so grateful for the time and dedication Dr. Michael Guidice spent on my case I made him my routine OBGYN.

Points on Pregnancy

Information on Tracking Ovulation to Get Pregnant

Am I Pregnant: Early Symptoms of Pregnancy

What's My Due Date?

Picking the Perfect Baby Name

Tips for Building a Baby Registry So You Get What you Need

Buying Maternity Formalwear

Help: I'm 9 Months Pregnant & I Need Maternity Swimwear

Losing Pregnancy Weight

Am I Pregnant: Early Symptoms of Pregnancy

When did you first realize you were pregnant? For me a self proclaimed "mother hopeful" I spent the first few weeks of pregnancy convincing myself one way or the other. That month before I could take the pregnancy test was like a 5 year old waiting for Christmas. It was awful. One day I was sure I was having a baby, the next I was sure I wasn't. What was even worse was the result of the test.

The first pregnancy test I took was clear a big fat "NO!" Really?!?, really???? It couldn't be! I had all the symptoms of early pregnancy. I knew what to look for. My nose was working on overdrive, my breasts were sore, I had taken ample opportunity during the ovulation window...and my period was ONE day late. (I have to admit: that wasn't abnormal.) But when that test came back negative I was devastated. I really wanted a baby, afterall I had already nearly read through What to Expect When You're Expecting.

A few days later, the day after Christmas 2007, I decided to take another HPT. So what if it was my 5th or 6th in a month. I NEEDED to know! Standing in the bathroom I peed on the stick. My husband refused to let me look at the results until the 2 to 5 minutes, or whatever it is, was up. He stood there with his foot just an inch away from the test, covering it so I couldn't peek at the results. When the time was up, he slowly moved his foot....and WHAT??? did I see two pink lines? One was clearly pink, the other could have been a figment of my imagination...but it sure looked like it was there to me, mother hopeful. I ran around our bathroom screaming "I think it may be true, I think it may be true." Now, I'm in a predicament though. I worked overnight shifts, at the time, and had to go to work in an hour. But I also HAD to know for sure and there was no way this could wait until morning. So I ran to the store, picked up a digital pregnancy test and ran the results again. This time there was NO mistaking...it said "PREGNANT" loud and clear. 

We were having a baby! 

Suggested Reading: 

How to Recognize Early Pregnancy Symptoms

Tracking Ovulation To Get Pregnant

What To Expect When You're Expecting: 4th Edition