Dear God pass the booze...and the lysol

Today is one of those days when I wish, just for maybe an hour or two or okay, maybe a day....okay a day like this makes me crave a week...that I could actually go back to work.  Ya know, with like adults!

The irony in today is partly what makes it so bad.  Blake - just 8 days shy of his two year old birthday - calling from his crib this morning that he had to go potty.  I pulled off his sopping wet pull up and he peed in the potty. 

From there it went down hill...and just about as fast and as furious my stress level went up....

Let's see...

• He smacked his 4 year old sister over the head with a metal tape measure. 
• Got timeout in his crib...
• My husband went to get him from timeout only to find he peed all over his clothes and the crib.  What do I hear from upstairs "T!!! He peed all over the crib....
• Hose him down in the shower.
• Went to the gym for a little stress relief since I haven't been there in 10 days because of my two sick kids...he had an accident there. 
• Get him in the car to take him home - he throws up (Go ahead...laugh.  At this point it was only 10 am)
• We're home...I put him on the bed so I can take a shower and he can watch a show.  Ahhh...10 uneventful minutes. 
• He hops off the bed as soon as I get out of the shower and pees all over the floor.  Somehow I thank him for this. 
• He asks for more milk.  I say "no" given all the accidents. He throws the cup at me.  
• More timeout in the crib. 
• He pees all over the crib....again
• Get home from picking up sister and he says he has to poop.  I try to put him on the nearest potty he refuses and says he wants to go upstairs fighting me all the way to the nearest potty that's when shit literally hits the fan. 
• He pooped all over the wall, all over the floor, pretty much everywhere except the potty. 
• When I finally get all that cleaned up he says he's done.  I go to wipe him and a full size turd literally comes out in my hand.  
• My daughter requests lunch because she's "starving." 
• As I wash my hands he pees on the floor...

 I mean in this moment, in this morning, I am beyond frustrated wondering how on earth USA Today's survey could find moms of 3 are the most stressed of us all...Apparently they didn't interview anyone with a Hurricane Blake.  I call my husband to vent but of course I get his office voice mail.

Next best thing...nap time.

I swear potty training can be the worst and best thing for a mom.  But on days like today when I know he's using it against m,  I can't help but wonder if he's mad I sold the half opened pack of diapers this morning or if it was that he is just showing me what 2 will be like.    He'll go a week without a single accident and then have days like today when I am seriously considering questioning my sanity.